Tuesday, June 25, 2013

MARRIAGE

Salam and hello everybody,

I had been missing for quite sometime especially since coming back to Malaysia for the summer break. My mother had a surgery more than a month ago to fix her ligament and I am so glad to be able to take care of her during her hard times.

This topic of marriage has been intriguing me for a long time. I am a firm believer that marriage should be done after study. And you should never ever get married at a young age (my definition of young is any age below 21). Some people will criticize my opinions on this matter but I'm writing this based on my logic and understanding of Islam.

I respect couples that are married at a young age and during their studies. You have that gut to do it while I still like living with my family at home and having to listen to my mom random rants about how ridiculous fashion nowadays can be. I like having to know that my dad will still drive me around to buy bread or curry powder. And my greatest pleasure comes when I know they are still taking care of me. The thoughts of someone else being there when I'm sick just doesn't work for me, at this moment. I take a minimal care on myself and having to do it for others is just a lot of work. Doing it voluntarily (eg. Taking care for my mother) is different because I want to do it, and not a task that I need to fulfill because I am someone's wife.

Marriage can prevent maksiat. I agree on that but this topic (marriage) is like a big stone on my shoulder. When you get married to someone, you don't get married to only him/her. It comes with a package known as family. And with that package, there are also other manuals that you need to understand. The family, their beliefs and thinking, illness and ailments, morality and etiquette. Those are so important which make me cringes every time I think about marriage.

There's no age limit for marriage. But when I was 20, I was nowhere close to my current maturity. I thought Linkin Park was cool and the world revolved around me. I am still immature compared to some of my friends but I can definitely say that life so far has taught me some good lessons.

My idea of marriage is when two individuals come together in unity, to carry responsibilities put under syariah laws without hesitations. They should never burden their families as they have their own family to be responsible for. The couple should also learn to keep the secrets of their marriage from others and learn to respect each other and the families too. Money should not be a problem as they must be prepared to raise a family, using their own means and ways provided they are halal. And should never ever burden the spouse and families when troubles come.

The saying that rezeki comes with marriage is very popular among our culture. But I can't imagine having babies running around and crying at 2am when I need my rest. Some people can pull it off and I salute you. I don't have the patience to do it and I still like coming back to my parents' house for the breaks  without having to ask someone else's permission. 

And another note, I dislike couples that display their happiness by putting pictures on social network and the public has the access to it. I'm happy to see your wedding pictures but I don't need to see your cuddling moments. It is quite   embarrassing to have people know what you up to with your spouse. Call me jealous but I believe those moments should be kept in private.

A friend of mine who just got married last month is someone I admire ever since in Langkawi. She has transformed into someone with modesty and I would love to be like her. At the end of the day, writing this is a reminder for myself. It just something that I've been thinking about and the points may be hard to understand. But insyallah, I know where they came from. 

Marriage is something beautiful, and I would love to keep that picture.

2 comments:

petite girl said...

High five babe!

I second you completely.

Do you remember a lecture given by the UIA Counselor in KMB?

The story of her being heavily pregnant and had to sit for final exams while her hubby in another state in US? In which her husband asked her to leave the new born baby in Malaysia, in which she refused to?

That takes a lot of courage.

sarah said...

Yeah I remember. Never going to do that, just a lot of courage and patience!

If the main reason to get married is to prevent maksiat,the couples should really understand the risks. You do 'it' because you want to, not because you have to.

But my utmost respect to the young couples out there, choosing keberkatan Allah over worldly pleasures