Saturday, December 14, 2013


I bid goodbye to winter semester with no regrets. I did my best and we'll see how it goes. The weather has been crazy lately, perhaps due to global warming. The days just get colder, temperature dropping greatly and it's not even the end of December yet. Outside, the snow continues to fall. This reminds me of winter last year where it only takes a day for the snowfall to put everything on halt.

These are the things that I will miss when I'll be back home. By home I mean Malaysia. I love drawing the curtains and to my surprise, the view is blanketed with inches of fresh, white snow. I like to have my coffee or milo while doing work and at the same time, spacing out every now and then as I'm watching the wind blows the snow in every chaotic motions. The silence when no one goes out during heavy snowfall and all I can think of is white Christmas. I will miss all of these dearly.


Thursday, October 24, 2013


Been sick since Sunday, had to skip midterm and consequently, really need to study for the final. It's the season, one after another gets sick, transmitting the virus to another host. I'm almost better now, just cough and phlegm. But my throat does hurt and it's not getting any better or worse. It ticks me off.

I was watching a wedding video of a famous blogger. Not sure if it's just me but I always end up tearing after watching wedding videos. I think during my own wedding, I am going to cry buckets. This means no-no smokey eyes, thick eye liner. NOT a big fan of smokey eyes, why on Earth people created such look? It looks like you have black eyes out of no reason.

This whole wedding (and marriage) business is tricky. I just received email about graduation photo session that will be held in early December. Pretty excited for that! Hopefully, Allah will give me a smooth sailing until I finally have the diploma in my hand (here, degree is also called diploma. Don't ask me why). After that, the real cycle of life will take place. Work, work some more, get hitch (if God's willing), have babies (also if God's willing), work, work, work... I guess some people know about my philosophy behind marriage and wedding. As the eldest, my parent has no less expectations for me. Set the bars, be independent etc. But I know, deep down I'm still a kid. One of my first memories was when we were in Langkawi for a family trip. I remembered taking a swing under Mahsuri's house with my sister (she might be 1 y/o) and my mom said that the way I sat was not lady-like. I wore a skirt (I was 3, probably) and of course, you can't spread your legs like the boys. Maybe that was my first lesson on how-to-be-a-girl. Even now, I still need to call my mom for advice.

Know what, I want to get married. But I AM FOR SHO(SURE) not ready for it. I still want to go home to my parents, celebrate holidays with them, go to mamak and have nasi mamak for dinner. I still want to go to Jusco with them because my mom and brother just love the store. Over the summer, my mother asked me about my plan (actually it's mine and Ahnaf's). We talked about it and I told everything to her. She agrees with it, alhamdulillah. It's still a long way to go. Step by step. But as I feel it gets closer, the more unready I feel. CAN I JUST NOT GROW UP? I hate all the responsibilities as an adult. Life was so much easier, so much simpler when we were kids. How can people get married at a young age, I have no idea. So much work. 

Here's my thought about marriage:
I take minimal care of myself. Taking care of another human being is an extra work. As long as I put minimum effort on taking care of myself, I will not get married. I ain't giving my parents unnecessary headaches and pains about my marriage. If you're matured enough to sleep in the same bed with another human being under matrimony, you should think twice before bugging your parents about any problems you have. Advice, yes. Asking them to solve your problem, no.

On a different note, is it true that booking for halls for wedding has to be done at least 1 year prior the date? Effing crazy.

Saturday, October 12, 2013


Fall has always been my favorite, particularly this year. Since this is going to be last time to enjoy the 4 seasons, I decided to embrace everything that the seasons bring along. For example:

1. Fall-the brown and gold leaves, the breeze that blows away all the falling leaves, the chilly yet sunny weather, sweater in the early morning, t-shirt during the day and back to sweater in the evening.

2. Winter-the cold, the snow, the strong wind that makes everyone hugs themselves tightly, the coffee run to nearest Timmys or Second Cup, winter boots and jackets, layers and layers of clothes

3. Spring-constant rain, flower buds, chilly morning, wet fields, smell of grass after the rain, perfect time to wear flower-patterned clothes and scarfs.

4. Summer-ice coffee for $1, sweaty yet dry weather, flip-flops and sandals, basking under the sun, and... GRADUATION!

May God ease my journey, alongside with my friends.

6 months until the last day of exam.
8 months to graduation.

Graduation request, done. Now to wait for the emails for grad photo session and ceremony dates to be posted :)

Monday, September 16, 2013


Salam and hello,

I am finally back in TO after a good summer break in Malaysia. A lot of things happened during the summer, good and 'bad'. Perhaps challenging would be a better word.

If the title of the post is 42, it would have been much better. Fans of Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy would understand why.

I haven't fully settled down in terms of schedule and also mind, this is a bit of a distress. The moment when I know I have too much free time in my hand is alarming. I need to do something to keep my mind occupied. Hopefully I can get a job so it can keep me going.

Alhamdulillah, I had the chance to go to Thailand with my family during the break. The trip was planned because I needed some rubies for my thesis. If I am going to do a Master in the future, gemology will not be the field I would go into although it can be a 'beautiful' study. By beautiful I mean like really beautiful, imagine having to look at all the gemstones, ruby, emerald, diamond, jade . Who would not want that?


Bangkok is a cool city, much cooler than KL. Bigger, grander, livelier. I really liked the city. 

Toast to 4th and final year. May God ease my way, amin.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013


Salam and hello everybody,

I had been missing for quite sometime especially since coming back to Malaysia for the summer break. My mother had a surgery more than a month ago to fix her ligament and I am so glad to be able to take care of her during her hard times.

This topic of marriage has been intriguing me for a long time. I am a firm believer that marriage should be done after study. And you should never ever get married at a young age (my definition of young is any age below 21). Some people will criticize my opinions on this matter but I'm writing this based on my logic and understanding of Islam.

I respect couples that are married at a young age and during their studies. You have that gut to do it while I still like living with my family at home and having to listen to my mom random rants about how ridiculous fashion nowadays can be. I like having to know that my dad will still drive me around to buy bread or curry powder. And my greatest pleasure comes when I know they are still taking care of me. The thoughts of someone else being there when I'm sick just doesn't work for me, at this moment. I take a minimal care on myself and having to do it for others is just a lot of work. Doing it voluntarily (eg. Taking care for my mother) is different because I want to do it, and not a task that I need to fulfill because I am someone's wife.

Marriage can prevent maksiat. I agree on that but this topic (marriage) is like a big stone on my shoulder. When you get married to someone, you don't get married to only him/her. It comes with a package known as family. And with that package, there are also other manuals that you need to understand. The family, their beliefs and thinking, illness and ailments, morality and etiquette. Those are so important which make me cringes every time I think about marriage.

There's no age limit for marriage. But when I was 20, I was nowhere close to my current maturity. I thought Linkin Park was cool and the world revolved around me. I am still immature compared to some of my friends but I can definitely say that life so far has taught me some good lessons.

My idea of marriage is when two individuals come together in unity, to carry responsibilities put under syariah laws without hesitations. They should never burden their families as they have their own family to be responsible for. The couple should also learn to keep the secrets of their marriage from others and learn to respect each other and the families too. Money should not be a problem as they must be prepared to raise a family, using their own means and ways provided they are halal. And should never ever burden the spouse and families when troubles come.

The saying that rezeki comes with marriage is very popular among our culture. But I can't imagine having babies running around and crying at 2am when I need my rest. Some people can pull it off and I salute you. I don't have the patience to do it and I still like coming back to my parents' house for the breaks  without having to ask someone else's permission. 

And another note, I dislike couples that display their happiness by putting pictures on social network and the public has the access to it. I'm happy to see your wedding pictures but I don't need to see your cuddling moments. It is quite   embarrassing to have people know what you up to with your spouse. Call me jealous but I believe those moments should be kept in private.

A friend of mine who just got married last month is someone I admire ever since in Langkawi. She has transformed into someone with modesty and I would love to be like her. At the end of the day, writing this is a reminder for myself. It just something that I've been thinking about and the points may be hard to understand. But insyallah, I know where they came from. 

Marriage is something beautiful, and I would love to keep that picture.

Saturday, April 27, 2013


Salam and hello,

I guess it is expected of me to abandon my blog for a while. My hectic schedule especially the last 2 weeks of school had taken its toll on my life. Right after the submission of my last assignment, I sat for my first final exam for 3rd year on the next day. The exam itself wasn't too bad but the labs pulled my grade down. I had been putting a high expectation on myself this year and I managed to live up to it. However, this semester was certainly a tough one.

Holiday has officially started. I'll be leaving for my 14-days field school in Benny Belt, Sudbury. Coming back to TO on the 15th, probably around 5pm and I will have a 5,6 hours gap before my flight back to Malaysia. I so can't wait to go back! This summer is going to be F.U.N.

This blog has always been dusty. To keep it updated, I came up with an idea. For the next month, I will try to post pictures on anything interesting that can be worth sharing. Something that I may witness with my own eyes and remind me of any peculiar moments or simply beautiful/funny shots of life around me. Caution! Since I will be away for 14 days with limited time for blogging, I might have to update my blog every other day or perhaps, whenever I will be free.

I'm excited for this. Like my own virtual scrap book.


Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Nobody likes rude and arrogant people. I personally believe that this type of people thinks that they are always right, no matter who is the expert of the topic in concern. And I have my own principle: if you don't like any of my actions or speeches, don't go blabber about them behind my back. Man up and tell it to my face. I would appreciate you more and I might think that I can change if that can make the world a better place. Don't f*cking go behind my back telling the world that I behave/talk like anything or anyone on/at any  spaces/occasions because it ticks me off. I don't give a damn about your thoughts on me because there is no respect install in your belief.

I have changed a lot since the past 4,5 years. Being in a country and away from my closest ones have taught me to be independent and respectful to each other. My mother constantly reminds me that never do something that can be hurtful to others as it can be a trouble to you at the end of the day. She also told me to be respectful, no matter under any circumstances, it can be an act of courtesy. Throughout the years, I spend less time gosip-ping, telling storied behind people's back and other bad-mouthing actions because the actions are simply rude. But, if you choose to do so, don't let me find out because I will think twice to forgive you.

This anger in me is a negative aura. I hate it, I despise it. At the end of the day, I don't give a f*cking care on what people want to say about me because they are equally the same like me. I sin, you sin. Don't let me give the middle finger to you because it is the final act of courtesy that I can show to you.