Thursday, October 24, 2013


Been sick since Sunday, had to skip midterm and consequently, really need to study for the final. It's the season, one after another gets sick, transmitting the virus to another host. I'm almost better now, just cough and phlegm. But my throat does hurt and it's not getting any better or worse. It ticks me off.

I was watching a wedding video of a famous blogger. Not sure if it's just me but I always end up tearing after watching wedding videos. I think during my own wedding, I am going to cry buckets. This means no-no smokey eyes, thick eye liner. NOT a big fan of smokey eyes, why on Earth people created such look? It looks like you have black eyes out of no reason.

This whole wedding (and marriage) business is tricky. I just received email about graduation photo session that will be held in early December. Pretty excited for that! Hopefully, Allah will give me a smooth sailing until I finally have the diploma in my hand (here, degree is also called diploma. Don't ask me why). After that, the real cycle of life will take place. Work, work some more, get hitch (if God's willing), have babies (also if God's willing), work, work, work... I guess some people know about my philosophy behind marriage and wedding. As the eldest, my parent has no less expectations for me. Set the bars, be independent etc. But I know, deep down I'm still a kid. One of my first memories was when we were in Langkawi for a family trip. I remembered taking a swing under Mahsuri's house with my sister (she might be 1 y/o) and my mom said that the way I sat was not lady-like. I wore a skirt (I was 3, probably) and of course, you can't spread your legs like the boys. Maybe that was my first lesson on how-to-be-a-girl. Even now, I still need to call my mom for advice.

Know what, I want to get married. But I AM FOR SHO(SURE) not ready for it. I still want to go home to my parents, celebrate holidays with them, go to mamak and have nasi mamak for dinner. I still want to go to Jusco with them because my mom and brother just love the store. Over the summer, my mother asked me about my plan (actually it's mine and Ahnaf's). We talked about it and I told everything to her. She agrees with it, alhamdulillah. It's still a long way to go. Step by step. But as I feel it gets closer, the more unready I feel. CAN I JUST NOT GROW UP? I hate all the responsibilities as an adult. Life was so much easier, so much simpler when we were kids. How can people get married at a young age, I have no idea. So much work. 

Here's my thought about marriage:
I take minimal care of myself. Taking care of another human being is an extra work. As long as I put minimum effort on taking care of myself, I will not get married. I ain't giving my parents unnecessary headaches and pains about my marriage. If you're matured enough to sleep in the same bed with another human being under matrimony, you should think twice before bugging your parents about any problems you have. Advice, yes. Asking them to solve your problem, no.

On a different note, is it true that booking for halls for wedding has to be done at least 1 year prior the date? Effing crazy.

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